Social Media Bullying

 

Social Media Bullying

I am a serious person, and a serious commentator on the social issues faced today. For many years I have enjoyed Facebook, and more lately Instagram and Threads. Each of these platforms has become increasingly nasty. I am saddened by the mocking I receive for being thoughtful, nuanced, articulate and helpful in my responses.

 

This has caused me to pull back from commentating. But is this the correct option? Lately I have been driven to tears after seeing videos of hundreds of women breastfeeding on Instagram. When one said she was so depressed that feeding an almost 2-year-old was coming to an end I responded by asking her if she had ever considered the depression experienced by women who could not breastfeed. I received hundreds of responses abusing me for this genuine comment. Some of them hurt so badly I eventually removed my comment. There were over 60 likes, and one nice woman replied saying she understood how I felt.

 

Obviously, a few had checked out my profile as one woman said I write about books and writing. She wondered if I had considered the blind, vision impaired and deaf people who could not read. My response was quick and articulate – I am visually impaired and had she not heard of audio and other talking books. I also queried why a deaf person could not read a book. No reply.

 

Are the people who comment and hurt and even psychologically damage people aware of what their responses can incur. Are they insecure, do they think the world of social media rewards nastiness and snarky comments over considered replies with substance. Are they afraid of their own ignorance and challenged by the intelligent.

 

I replied to the one nice comment by expanding that I had given birth to four children, none of whom I was able to breastfeed. Over 40-50 years later this still hurts and watching videos of women breastfeeding just adds to the depression I and others have experienced over many years.

One topic I do comment on expecting negative commentary is the United States disability law which allows all types of dogs to be classified as service dogs. Their ADA Act only requires the human to say what service their dog supplies to be able to identify it as a service dog. This allows people, and their myriad of supporters on social media, to abuse those of us with genuine service dogs in other countries. Ours are trained to a high level by an internationally recognised organisation, have ID cards, discs provided by the organisation, and the backing of the government and the police. Training a pet to say it is a service dog is not allowed. These rogue dogs make it incredibly difficult for our dogs when they toilet in a shop, bark at people or real service dogs, and have absolutely no manners. The comments I get range from the “you are stupid and know nothing about service dogs” to the cruelly abusive of our training systems and the right to be a service dog. I am on my fourth guide dog so know something about their role.    

 

Is the tendency to respond nastily by tearing down thoughtful voices part of a wider pattern of an undisclosed need to psychologically attempt to destroy people. Was this happening in a different way when people like me were growing up. We were bullied. Is it the fact that people can hide behind the anonymity of an online post giving an unnecessary courage to abuse. Do they understand what it costs people when they are incredibly rude to them, call them names, or decry their valid experiences that these trolls will never live through.

 

I was going to include some of the appalling names I have been called but thankfully most of those notifications and replies seem to disappear after a certain time period. I know I can be honest and blunt at times, but am now learning not to comment on anything unless it’s a post I can genuinely expect an interesting repartee on. 

 

If you have been mocked online, please keep going and post on what interests you. If all of those of us who make gracious and suitable comments disappear social media will be left to the unkind, rude and nasty people of this world. Keep a positive gentle tone in your posts, make people understand you are not like those who taunt people and will answer your posts with respect, questioning, and genuine understanding.  Consider replying extra sympathetically to nasty posts. Show these people you are a decent normal person who just wants to contribute to modern thought.